Day 66 - ASL

Today I sent out a fundraiser e-mail in plight of my cheetah event, and dared to include my director on it. Let me tell you, it did take some mustering of nerve to do so, but I figure what do I have to lose? And more so, I reminded myself that every one's money is the same color and adds the same value. In serious fundraising mode now, I raised $201 in one day, only $799 more to go to meet my goal.

Since fundraising isn't new to my blog posts, here's what is. I finally found a place where I can take ASL classes. I have long put off learning ASL despite being around deaf people my entire life. I have a cousin who is deaf and had neighbors while I was growing up that were deaf as well. As a child, I must admit I felt awkward at times not being able to communicate with others and still find myself not quite knowing what to do in situations that arise where communication is difficult. One such recent situation involved a deaf woman and her dog who came to visit my pet training arena. While she enthusiastically tried to communicate with me, I felt horrible that I could not understand her or her dog's needs. Whether she ever comes to visit me again, her interaction with me changed my way of thinking. I want to be able to talk to her and anyone else who speaks ASL and not feel awkward or uncomfortable when faced with someone who sounds and speaks differently then I do.

I can't quite remember what grade I was in, but as part of a childhood school Christmas pageant, I learned how to sign the words to "Silent Night" and "Jingle Bells" and later shared my new found Christmas caroling technique with my neighbors. I know I didn't realize it then, but I can only imagine how they felt to have someone "sing" them Christmas carols one year, carols that they could understand and appreciate. That memory has always stuck with me. I enjoyed signing at the time, and have retained some of what I had learned all those years ago. In addition, there are times I find myself at the theater and am so engrossed in watching the interpreter bring to life the play for those who cannot hear it, that I don't even watch what it is I paid to go see.

It seems like ASL has always had some presence in my life, and I'm now choosing to push past the fears of not being able to understand, in efforts to learn how to understand. Spring classes start on March 29th, fingers and hands don't fail me now!

Day 65 - Aretha

- Aretha -

Help me welcome to the household, my blooming new baby Orchid named Aretha. Aretha is a beautiful Orchid who found herself abandoned in a dressing room, destined to a live a life of artificial sun light and neglect. Being the compassionate man he is, my boyfriend decided he couldn't let Aretha continue to suffer and brought her home to me for permanent adoption and some TLC.

I was very happy to see my beautiful surprise, but fear shortened the happiness as I know nothing about Orchid care. I began to read up on the new addition's needs and am afraid I'll kill her by over watering, or lack of correct fertilizer, or heaven forbid I ever forget and re-pot her in soil (big Orchid no-no!). Also, I have other "children" to contend with in the house. I have a feline that seems to have a leaf/plant eating fetish that I now must defend Aretha from at all times. Despite my fears, I will give Aretha the best home and care I can manage and I will appreciate her beauty daily. Anyone know of any good greenhouse daycare centers I can drop her off at while I go to work during the day? (Just teasing.)

Why did I settle on the name Aretha? Because after reading up on the flower, it's such a high maintenance plant all I could think is that it's going to be like caring for a demanding diva. And because of the recent Snicker's candy bar commercial, when I think diva, I think Aretha Franklin. Here's to hoping Aretha reaches the age of 1, and right now, I'll settle for that being 1 month old versus 1 year!

Day 64 - Donut

Finding myself bored last night and nursing a cold, I had some "down time" and found myself keeping my couch and TV company. Searching through NetFlix, I stumbled upon the film, "The Secret". Long intrigued by the book and television hype, I figured what have I got to lose by watching the movie? To summarize in short, the logic behind "The Secret" is the universal laws of attraction and that whatever you want, you can attract by sending positive energy out into the world. Whether it be wealth, love, or health you can attract and obtain anything by positive thinking and by following these three basic steps:

• Ask the universe for what you want
• Believe your request can come true
• Act as though you've already received your request
  

While I usually perceive myself as a positive person, as of late I've been in a "bad spot" due to stress and thought, "What do I have to lose by practicing this technique?". Of course, in the documentary, people have obtained thousands of dollars by "willing" it, but the philosophers suggest you start small with your requests, they suggested a cup of coffee. I immediately thought, "donut". So yep, that's what I asked the Universe for, a donut. Silly, absolutely, but what did I have to lose?

This morning I woke up and thought positive thoughts. I thought I will have a good day, I will sell two dog training classes, and somehow, someone will provide me a donut. I want a donut Universe! I asked the Universe for a donut, I believed it was achievable and I acted as if I could already taste the donut. When I arrived at work I walked directly into the break room expecting my donut, but was sadly shocked that there were no donuts. Hello? Universe, aren't you listening? I continued to obsess about my silly donut throughout the day and it never appeared. That was, ironically, until I was walking out 6 hours later.

As I was saying goodbye to one of my managers, I noticed a box that said, "DONUTS" across it in the office. I got the hugest smile ever and said giddily, "Are those donuts?" (as if I couldn't read), and he said, "Yeah, they're mine, but you can have one - would you like one?". I was too excited to actually eat the donut, and hope the Universe wasn't offended by my declination of my granted wish. Positive thinking allowed me to have fun today, and a good day at work - something I haven't had either of in a long time (or so it seems). So, you might ask, where is the fear in all of this? Well, my fear is that in posting this, you readers will think I've lost my marbles and gone a bit crazy! Despite fears, I thought this was too great of an experience not to share. Try some positive thinking today and enjoy!

PS) I also sold the two training classes I said I would!

Day 63 - Sick

Today's blog, short and sweet? Well, sick is probably a better description, literally. Despite coming down with a cold and fearing I would lose my breakfast before I actually made it to work, I headed to the office hoping I would feel better. While I never really felt any better, my mind was at least occupied for 8 hours on something other then my cold. I'm always amazed at just how much mucus one's body can produce. I've lost count of how many sneezes and tissues I've gone through, so I think now's a good time for a restful nap.

- Puffs -

Day 62 - Numb

Today I had a follow up appointment with a new dentist (a second dentist) for a deep cleaning of my teeth and gums. The dentist had to numb my mouth, and to be honest, I was more afraid of that, then anything else he would be doing during the procedure today! Facing fears, I "opened wide" and allowed the dentist to inject my gums with the needle and numbing medicine. I've never had anything "numbed" before, other then my foot when I sit on it awkwardly and "put it to sleep" so today was a new experience.

After the last injection the dentist and assistant left me to allow time for the numbing to take place. About 5 minutes into it, I felt like my mouth was the size of a softball (even though it wasn't) and my lips began to tingle. When all was said and done, I went home and starred in the mirror and made faces at it. I found it quite humorous that only half of my mouth worked. Puckering up my lips as if I was going to offer a kiss was hilarious, as my top lip went to the right and my bottom lip drooled towards the left. I looked like a bad version of a curled lip Elvis.

I was happy to take the dentist's advice and not eat anything for a few hours as, although I couldn't actually feel it, I knew I was accidentally biting my tongue as I randomly tried to talk. Eating would have proven disastrous. Of course, as soon as the dentist told me I couldn't eat, I think that's when I became hungry. None the less, I waited my allotted hours for all feeling to return to my mouth and managed to enjoy the rest of my day off by meeting up with the boyfriend for some Chicago deep dish pizza. All in all, a day at the dentist proved to be better then a day at work!

Day 61 - Spice

I arrived at my part time job to find a man and his red Doberman in my classroom. I've seen him once before and didn't care for his over bearing handling skills, but chose to ignore him and let it go. Today, I didn't. Sensing he was unwelcome, he left the training center and then demonstrated his training skills in front of me as if he was going to teach me something. I am all about being educated as I realize I don't know everything, but when I clearly know there's a better and proven method in doing something, don't try to convince me that the wrong way is the right way.

He continued to yank on his dog's leash, popping the prong collar, tugging at the collar, and never releasing any of the tension on the collar. I let him continue, and didn't say anything immediately as sometimes I fear and think, "Who am I to get involved?". But the fact is, who am I not to get involved? Done with his demonstration, he walked away, but I decided to follow him and then, mustering all my nerve, asked, "Earlier, when you asked your dog to sit and stay, you continued to apply pressure on the leash and had the prong collar digging into your dog's skin - why?". His reply was, "Well, I want her to sit and stay no matter what distractions are going on.". "Okay", I replied, "but what is her reward for staying?". "I pet her when she comes", he replied. I said, "But that's a praise and reward for coming to you, what's her reward for staying? She continues to feel a painful pressure on her neck while she's staying, so what is her motivation to stay?". He stammered and didn't really have an answer. I told him there are other distractions other then pain that he could use to teach his dog a reliable stay.

As the conversation and demonstration of skills continued, the next thing I observed was him grabbing his dogs head forcefully, and forcing her to look him dead in the eye. Despite her struggling, he kept twisting and turning her head in order to make her keep eye contact. When he did manage to hold her head in place, she closed her eyes and averted her eyes as much as she could. I quickly stopped him, and asked him what he was attempting to do. He explained, "I'm just loving on her, and asking her to look at me.". While I thought "that's an odd display of affection", I saved derogatory commentary and instead said, "You're scaring her." Seeing the look of concern on his face, I explained, "Eye contact amongst dogs is a threat. She is doing her best to avoid a conflict and to avoid being seen as a threat to you. She is averting her eyes and communicating to you in her own language and you don't understand it. You're taking away her ability to communicate by forcing her head to stay still. If anything, it's a compliment that she's not looking at you as she's showing you, 'I mean you no harm, I want no conflict here, I am submitting to you!'". I quickly said her name, made a kissy noise, and she looked right at me. I immediately praised her and petted her. I showed him in about 2 seconds a better way to do and accomplish what he wanted. He tried it next and it worked perfectly. He was amazed and thanked me for sharing my knowledge.

While I found him unappealing at first, I actually hope this man will come back so I can continue to coach him and show him that not all things are accomplished by force. Putting fears aside I helped educate someone today, and hopefully prevented some painful yanks on the prong collar for his dog. I hope the lesson learned was that love and training doesn't have to be painful. There's a line in the movie "Michael" that comes to mind, and while I can't quote it perfectly, it refers to a battle between the North Wind and the Sun to see who could make a traveler take off his coat first. The North Wind blew and blew and tried as he might to blow the coat off the man, the man clung to his garment all the tighter. Defeated, the North Wind allowed the Sun to try the same challenge. The Sun came out and shone brightly and gently warmed the Earth. In no time the man, over heated by his coat, removed it. Sometimes in life, you just need to be the sun.

Day 60 - Recap II

Looking back over the month of February I realize:

- I've done a lot of personal growing at work, learning to over come fear and ask for what I want, and ask the hard questions.

- I managed to try new foods, Indian cuisine, gelato and grapefruit only to find the healthiest thing for me (grapefruit) is still not palatable.

- I passionately educated a pet owner about their dog's health issues, and got "humped" by an overly passionate pup.

-I attempted to watch a scary movie, but will have to take the advice of my blog reader (thanks Lynn) and try something a little more scary!

- My boyfriend was introduced to my mother and spent an entire breakfast with my dysfunctional family (and he still wants to date me!).

- I branched out and saw an awesome Beatles show despite protesting their music.

- I went against the grain to be one of just a few walkers in the Cupids 4 miler event - and survived! Go team Breakfast Burrito!

These are what I consider the highlights of the past month, however, not wanting to dwell on the past, I'm looking forward to the next 305 days of adventure! Of course, I should probably focus on just getting through March first. Any thoughts about what fears I should tackle next?