Day 24 - Fireproof

"Baptism by fire". We've all heard the phrase and probably even said it quite a few times. And while I've always understood the general meaning, I decided to look up the definition of this well repeated quote. According to Wikipedia the phrase describes, "anyone doing something "the hard way" for the first time, particularly if training is necessarily insufficient to fully prepare one for the experience". Training...insufficient...yeah, I think that sums up my fearful situation today.

Today I got baptized by fire at work when senior management decided I was to give a presentation with a generous 45 minute advance notice. The presentation I was to give was for my company's IT department and I'm sorry, but you just can't "wing it" and expect to sound credible in front of a bunch of system analyst nerds. You have to know your "stuff", cold. You have to be prepared. I wasn't either of those things. Despite my lack of preparation, the meeting wasn't going to wait for me, and before I knew it, it was show time.

My nerves showed up just in time to allow me to grip the podium way too tight, and then begin the Power Point presentation by clicking far too many slides ahead of what it was I was speaking about. In addition, I'm sure I also finished my subject matter in record time. I was perfectly, imperfect and I was okay with that! At the end of the hour, I gave myself permission to accept the presentation and my performance for what it was. I set my fears aside and survived the baptism, but most importantly I did not disintegrate. Fear of sounding like a complete idiot, conquered. Fire proofing myself, complete.