Saturday, April 23, 2011

Day 113 - T is for Tapazole

Tapazole: drug used to treat hyperthyroidism in cats

My cat Tird was recently diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. The remedy proposed is to give my cat 1/2 a tablet of Tapazole twice a day. Let me prepare you for this post by saying that my cat is somewhere between the age of 14 and 15 years old and has never had to take a pill. Needless to say, he's a bit reluctant to start now.

Step 1) Cut minuscule tablet in half.

Step 2) Start with new tablet as knife has crushed half the minuscule tablet into powder, and sent the other half flying somewhere across the kitchen to never be found again.

Step 3) Fetch unsuspecting Tird from bed, or current household location.

Step 4) Sit on couch with Tird. Cuddle and pet as if nothing were out of the ordinary. Note how happy Tird is.

Step 5) Grab Tird's head, open mouth with finger.

Step 6) Re-open Tird's mouth.

Step 7) Go fetch Tird from other side of room.

Step 8) Repeat steps 4 and 5 and hope for success.

Step 9) Drop pill into open mouth.

Step 10) Pick pill up from lap, repeat steps 5, 6 and 9 until completed.

Step 11) Close hand around mouth, and stroke throat to aid in swallowing of soggy pill.

Step 12) Fetch Tird from back of sofa. Search for spit out pill. Repeat steps 5, 6, 9 and 11.

Step 13) Continue holding and stroking throat for 5 minutes, guaranteeing that either the pill has dissolved or been swallowed by now.

Step 14) Release an angry Tird. Search lap and couch for any signs of spit out pill.

Step 15) Clean clothes with lint roller.

Step 16) Clean clothes with lint roller.

Step 17) Forget lint roller and change pants.

Step 18) Apologize to Tird.

Step 19) Repeat in 12 hours.

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