Day 267 - Keesha's Last Day

Upon an initial physical exam, the doctor's response was, "It wouldn't be wrong to put her down, you've done all you can for her". Those are words no pet owner wants to hear, although I knew in my heart that this was likely the outcome of today's visit. With a heavy heart I handed my debit card to the vet and said, "Please take care of everything now, so I can just walk out of here when everything is done". She gave me a hug, and a box of tissues. A small consolation for what I was about to experience, but appreciated none the less.

I read a poem from a pet's perspective years ago that they (pets) shouldn't be alone when facing the end, and made up my mind then that when the end was to come for my own pets I would be there with them. I knew I could not walk away from Keesha at this moment. I had to let her know I was there with her to offer any last comfort I could. It was peaceful and quiet, and I knew she was no longer suffering as her golden heart stopped beating. She had taken her last breathe. I couldn't help but cry.

The vet asked me if I wanted her ashes returned to me, and I said yes. And while I would never think to keep a human's ashes, I cannot let Keesha go. You see, when I adopted the little Tasmanian devil from a shelter over 9 years ago, she was some one's trash. Keesha was literally found in a garbage can because someone had cruelly thrown her away. I refuse to let her leave the world the way she came into it. She will always be with me, where hopefully she was the happiest. If I could find a pet urn made by Sleep Number, I'd get it for that silly cat in a moment.

- Keesha Remembered -

I remember not wanting YOU at all. My adoption intentions as I visited the shelter that day was a black and white cat, and YOU just happened to be in the same cage with him. As I cuddled and held him, YOU ran around the floor like an insane, escaped convict running for it's life. YOU chased a toy as if you were nothing but pure energy. I pitied the fool that was going to adopt YOU. "Good luck," I thought as I left the shelter.

I became the fool that called the shelter immediately after having left it to have YOU put on hold. I couldn't bear the idea of YOU being left alone in the cage without YOUR friend, the one I had intended to adopt, so now YOU were coming home with me. I brought YOU home, and YOU lived up to the notes in your adoption file, "Keesha is a ball of feline energy!". YOU made me crazy, and I yelled at YOU to shape up and behave or I was taking YOU back to the pound. I threatened YOU constantly.

Upon seeing the movie "Lilo & Stitch", I was touched by the scene where the destructive but cuddly alien gets adopted into the family and is loved unconditionally. "Ohana" they called it, "Ohana means family". And that is how YOU got YOUR middle name. I made a deal with YOU that day to stop threatening to return YOU to the pound if YOU would stop acting, well, like a cat. From then on, "Keesha Ohana" found a way into my heart forever.

I remember thinking I had gone insane as I would close my bedroom door every night with YOU on the outside of it, but wake up with YOU in my bed come the next morning. For weeks I thought I was insane, until I realized YOU were sneaking through the heating ducts in the house just to get to me and lay on the bed. YOU were bed obsessed!

I remember YOU purring so loudly next to me, that at one point I wondered who was "mowing their lawn" at such an early hour in the morning...

I remember YOU, a 15 pound cat, somehow managing to hog an entire Queen sized bed leaving me just inches of space, barely allowing me to sleep on my side...

I remember the way YOU always announced YOUR entrance into a room by letting out a half meow, half purring sound as YOU came running towards me...

I remember the way YOUR belly jiggled side to side as you ran, causing me to giggle every time...

I remember the way YOUR tail would vibrate in pleasure as I petted YOU...

I remember claw marks on my sofa, and in the freshly remodeled and spackled wall...

I remember YOUR first Lion Cut grooming, YOU looked so silly!

I remember the way YOU would always sneak onto the bed and upon trying to move YOU, YOU'D throw all YOUR weight against me in efforts to stay put. YOU usually won...

I remember YOU setting YOUR long haired tail on fire as YOU walked too closely to a candle. YOU didn't even realize it, and almost gave me a heart attack! The smell of singed fur was terrible.

But what I remember most of all, is loving YOU. And while I never wanted YOU, I never wanted to let YOU go either. Find peace my pet, and know that YOU are always with me. I love YOU always.